Elon Musk By Dr. Seuss (GPT-3)

I used OpenAI’s GPT-3 to write Dr. Seuss poems about Elon Musk. As with my previous posts I didn’t write a single word except for the bolded prompts. In some cases I changed the prompt part way through to try to introduce a new theme to the poem. I also included a couple Dr. Seuss poems (not shown here) for additional context. The AI isn’t very good with rhyming, so I had to delete and retry lines much more than with previous attempts. The whole process took several hours of trial and error. What I ended up with does usually rhyme, but the structure is inconsistent at best. Still, for full effect, I recommend reading them out loud. As I’ve come to expect from GPT-3, there are occasional flashes of what feel like inspiration that had me laughing out loud, like Musk threatening the SEC:

But I’ll tell you what I’ll do.
I’ll send my Mars Rovers
to red planet you.

Here’s a poem by Dr. Seuss about Elon Musk launching rockets with SpaceX, building electric cars at Tesla, selling flame throwers, dating Grimes, fighting the SEC, crushing short sellers, building brain chips to fight AI, and colonizing mars, and tweeting at all hours of day and night. Musk wants to make humans interplanetary to prevent extinction. The poem rhymes every other line with an ABAB structure. The rhyme structure is typical of Dr. Seuss nursery rhymes.

Elon Musk
By Dr. Seuss

Once there was a man
who really was a Musk.
He liked to build robots
and rocket ships and such.

He said, “I’m building a car
that’s electric and cool.
I’ll bet it outsells those
Gasoline-burning clunkers soon!”

They sell cool cars
that are electric and clean.
And then he wanted to go
even farther, you see.

The first Tesla, Roadster,
Was just the start of a bigger dream.
He said, “I’m building a plane
that’s electric and green.

That’s not all!
That man is also a Musk.
He likes electric cars,
flamethrowers, tunnels, and such.

But then he thought, “If we make
a very small, small chip,
We’ll implant it in our heads,
And then connect our minds to the Internet!”

But then, in his haste,
he got into a fight.
He had some emails that he sent
that weren’t quite polite.

The SEC said, “Musk,
your tweets are a blight.
They really could cost you your job,
if you don’t stop
all this tweeting at night.”

He replied, “Well, I do tweet
and it’s really quite neat.
and I’ll tweet in a while
and send you some sweet treats.”

But the SEC said, “Nay,
You can’t tweet anymore.
We’ll see you in court,
and you’ll pay a fine,
for the tweets that you wrote.”

Then Musk cried, “Why?
The tweets I wrote are not mean,
I don’t use all-caps
and I’m sure that my tweets are clean.”

“But your tweets can move markets
and that’s why we’re sore.
You may be a genius
and a billionaire,
but that doesn’t give you the right to be a bore!”

Then Elon Musk said,
“You’re not much fun.
And I don’t want to sue.
But I’ll tell you what I’ll do.
I’ll send my Mars Rovers
to red planet you.”

But then he thought, “But I don’t
want to start a fight.
Instead, I’ll just stick to building my cars
and launching rockets at night.”

And that’s what he did.
And the SEC said, “Fine.”
And Elon Musk said, “OK.
And the market was
A bit worried that day.
But the price of Tesla
Went up that same old way.

So you see,
Musk is just fine,
If you can ignore all the hype.
But if you trade Tesla,
The tweets might give you a fright.

But Tesla’s still going up
With each tweet and each post.
The shorts are getting so mad
That they’re going to burst!

And now Musk is building a spaceship
that can take us to Mars.
And he’ll soon be launching
some satellites to the stars.

And then we’ll really be
Interplanetary for sure.
And Musk’s tweets will continue
In space and on Earth.

Here’s a short poem by Dr. Seuss about, elon musk, rockets, and “Nuke Mars”. It rhymes every other line. It uses rhyming couplets. Elon wants to save humans from extinction. The rhyme is several pages long. He wants to build thousands of giant rockets to take humans to mars.

Nuke Mars
By Dr. Seuss

Elon Musk is a man with brains.
He says we should nuke Mars.
“It’s cold,” he explains,

It’s a godforsaken, desolate place.
Nuke Mars, I agree.
The people of Earth need
some more space.

Elon will send colonists.
A couple of hundred will do.
They’ll have to blast air
from gigantic balloons.

The Earth will start dying
At some point in time.
Elon’s crazy ideas
Will keep our species alive.

Don’t go to the sun,
Or the moon or the stars.
Elon’s going to Mars.

I say let’s do it
In a year or two.
If Elon’s mad,
I’m crazy too.

We’ll settle on Mars
Where we can be free.
We’ll build cities,
Homes and factories.

The future for Mars
Is going to be great.
So Elon Musk,
Take your nukes,
And nuke Mars today.

Here’s a short poem by Dr. Seuss about, elon musk, tesla’s share price, and the SEC.

Funding Secured
By Dr. Seuss

Elon Musk tweets a chart,
A tweet so bright
It’s short-selling experts
Their fears ignite,
Making numbers gyrate
That only hours before
Were not.

Great Scott!
What was this tweet?
And where did this chart come from?

Well, Tesla’s shares shot up
A thousand points,
As shorts scrambled to cover,
And they lost their shirts!

And you,
What were you doing
When this tweet went live?

Did you watch the shares soar,
Then sink with a frown?

Did you want to be short?
Did you want to be long?

And what were you doing
When you heard the news?
And where did you go?
And what did you do?

I’ll tell you what I did.
I took my pen
And I wrote a little poem,
And I called it:
“Funding Secured”

Here’s a short poem by Dr. Seuss about Elon Musk fighting with the SEC because of his tweet claiming ‘funding secured’ to take Tesla private at $420.

Musk and the SEC
By Dr. Seuss

Elon Musk
His speed was fast,
His company, vast.
He fired off tweets,
And his stocks rose fast.

He thought them quite legit,
But then it got murky.
No one would answer,
And the SEC got cranky.

So they said, ‘what a hoot!
You just posted on Twitter
That you had ‘funding secured.’
You’re not allowed to tell a lie,
And it’s bad form, too.’

‘It’s pretty serious stuff,
And quite grave.’
So Elon said, ‘if the tweets
were taken out of context,
Why, I’m happy to fess,
It was meant to be mirth.’

So the SEC said, ‘you’re through,
You can’t tweet a lie.
It’s right there in the rules.
They’re the law
And we’ll sue
If you lie again.’

So Elon said, ‘I’m not through,
My tweets are true.
This is just my way
Of having a laugh.’

But the SEC said, ‘We’re not through,
You must pay a fine.
With your tweet, you said
You had funding secured.’

And Elon said, ‘No!’
He said, ‘My tweet was true,
I really do
Have funding secured.’

The SEC said, ‘You should know
That you can’t tweet lies.
I’m afraid it’s off to court
You’ll be going
‘Cause you tweeted a lie.’

They tried in a court of law,
But the judge did say
‘You cannot lie
On a tweet that you say is true.’

So the judge sent Musk away,
And the SEC said ‘Hooray!’
They took away Elon’s wealth,
He must go to jail.

And then this morning
I heard that Musk had been let free,
I just saw it in the news,
So it’s clear, it’s true:

As Elon Musk tweeted,
Tesla will stay a public company,
‘Funding secured’

Here’s a short rhyming poem by Dr. Seuss about Elon Musk’s company, Neuralink which is building brain implants to achieve symbiosis with AI. Neuralink’s mission statement is “If you Can’t Beat’em, join’em”. The poem has a structure typical of Dr. Seuss stories with simple alternate line rhymes. In the poem Elon explains why we need to merge with the AI to save humanity.

By Dr. Seuss

I have a friend, Elon Musk,
Who wants to join our brains to AI.
He thinks that humans can’t compete
So he’s gonna use AI to cheat.

They want to build a neural-link.
To link us to the AIs
And save humanity from its demise.

They want to put an AI in your brain.
They want to use your neurons as a frame.
They want to save humanity,

If you can’t beat’em, join’em